my feet don't want to go to sleep

When the opportunity to travel somewhere new comes up, I jump at it. Even more so when a friend plans her wedding where her fiancee is from and I have never been. This was a complicated trip to arrange in January 2026.

The first step was to get the visa. We applied in December and a couple of us were successful. I forgot to put my middle name which kicked it back. January brought new requirements for US visitors. Thankfully the groom was in full planning mode to get us there. His brother wrote us letters of invitation and had them notarized in Pakistan. We resubmitted with our fingers crossed. We all got approved!

The second step is the flight. My year started loudly; New Year’s Eve in Iceland, then the Armani Education seminar series I was producing in New York, Costa Mesa, and Houston. I landed in Iceland on the 3rd, produced my event on the 8th, flew to California on the 10th, Houston on the 14th, helped with load in, and then returned to the airport to head to Pakistan that night. By January 16th I had flown more miles and to more countries than some people experience in their year yet alone a month. I booked a flight on Turkish Air and planned a long 6 day layover in Istanbul. It came with one free night. Besides that I had absolutely nothing planned.

The third step was to make the journey. From Houston to Istanbul was 16 hours. Then from Istanbul to Karachi was 5 hours. I landed at 6am in Pakistan 2 days later technically having left Wednesday night and arrived Friday morning. The wedding planners picked me up bright and early and offered me a floral lei. We drove the hour to the house. Through the large metal gate, into the ornate house with many living rooms, and a sweeping staircase up to the rooms. My friend was asleep so I crept in quietly. As I struggled with the shower, she woke up and tried to help. After twisting all the knobs I finally found hot water and washed quickly. I collapsed onto the hardest bed I have ever slept on and feel asleep for an hour.

Day 1

Now came the actual wedding weekend. We had hair and makeup appointments at Ireen Khan Bridal Studio. Pakistan isn’t really a place you can pop around alone. We ordered bagels and coffee to the house and then took our private cars to the appointment. On a quiet street with only a couple men sitting outside making tea did we find the door to the studio. Inside, this gorgeous, bright, and well designed space greeted us. We had 4 artists waiting for us. I sat in the chair accepting that there was no time to relax, it was go time. We put on Britney and danced to wake me up.

After the appointments, we headed back to get changed. The day before the ladies who were here went to the mall to rent and buy some traditional dresses. Since I was working I couldn’t come earlier than I did and missed out. The textiles here are gorgeous and they picked amazing ones for me that fit perfectly. Along with the dress came a maang tikka. Bri treated us each to one. This is the jewelry that hangs from your hairline and sits on the center of your forehead.

We dress and Bri orders dominos delivery because there is no one in the house to cook for us and not really any options. We have a couple bites and change and are off for photo shoots. The day flies and we are transported to the evenings event. This is basically like a rehearsal dinner or mehndi. But the wedding planners went all out. An elaborate seaside villa has been transformed into an experience.

Vignettes are set up all over with places to pose for photos. We watch the sunset on the beach as camels walk by. The DJ blasts remixes and we dance with our shawls in the wind. After being awake for who actually knows by this point I am tied but push through. Bri had arranged for a bar for us which is unusual in Pakistan. No one drinks here. People walk around with sodas and we sip a mixed drink. The henna artists arrive and we sit down to get the art. You can see my artist’s work here! Everything is much slower. Dinner isn’t served until 9pm. When it is served its a buffet of some rice, pasta, and spicy dishes. The night ends with 2 dance acts with 6 dancers and pyrotechnics.

Around midnight they take us back for showers and the stiff mattress. For the first time in since Tuesday night in California technically 4 days ago I actually sleep laying flat.

Day 2

We had a flex day before the wedding. I was excited to finally be able to see what this city was. We started the day by walking down to the beach as a group. Austeja and I wanted to swim in the Arabic sea. This is not like going to Copacabana. We went in our full workout clothes covered from head to toe. As a group of obviously foreigners walking to the beach, we drew attention. People approached us selling everything from snake dancing to camel riding. The beach smelled like a sewer. There was a port up north so there was likely run off making this potentially not the vibe. We were committed though and pushed through. The beach was the deepest color gold brown. A gorgeous shiny sand I hadn’t seen before. The water was warm and we splashed in.

Today we had time for a brunch reservation. We went to a breakfast chain that I had weirdly visited in the US and in Canada. The fact that they had one in Pakistan was hilarious to us. We all ordered real breakfast and juices appreciating the full meal. After yesterday’s seemingly endless day it felt good to sit down and eat something substantial.

After breakfast we went to the mausoleum of Quaid e-Azam. Murtaza had to spend time with his family which left us alone with the driver. We had to negotiate our entrance to the mausoleum and in the end had our driver escort us. We were not allowed to walk in the gardens and felt like our presence was lightly tolerated. Below the mausoleum is a museum with history of Pakistan. In this crowded, warm, low ceilinged room, we became the main event. Everyone stopped us to take pictures. We left with people video taping us and waving like we were celebrities.

The next stop was the market. We shopped around, I eyed all the textiles and wished my luggage had more space. We were picked up from there and went back to freshen up for dinner. While Bri and Murtaza met his family for a bit we were taken to Port Grand Food St. This ticketed pier with live music, food stalls, shops, and a beautiful lakeside walking path felt like some of the places my parents frequent on the weekends. Families sat eating ice cream and listening to music. I felt a sharp thought of how much hatred and difference people from Florida probably would assume the people sitting here have for them. When in reality everyone wants to sit outside on a cool night, listen to music, and eat ice cream.

When none of these restaurants seem like the move, we leave and meet our friends at a steak house. The social outside experience in Pakistan is confusing. Women are rarely seen which leaves mostly men walking around. Where is the society? Inside? Do they mostly eat at home? I had so many questions.

Day 3

Today is technically the day of the wedding ceremony. In Pakistani culture they have a Nida which is their actual wedding ceremony. Bri and Murtaza did that on their last trip. Now this is more of a celebration. We head back for our hair and makeup appointments and this time I push to order a more traditional breakfast. I ordered a bunch of Aloo Paratha for us to try. This flat pastry full of whatever you want was incredible. We dipped it in various dips and enjoyed tasting the varieties and the spice.

Back to the house for another dress change which was more complicated with our hair done. We probably should of gone in our outfits. We help squeeze our freshly made up heads and faces through our dresses. Photoshoots in these outfits are too fun. We twirl and twirl in our textiles. My 72 hours in Pakistan were coming up. Austeja and I booked flights at 2am out. She had to get back to work and I had that or only a couple hours later option to get to Istanbul. I thought it would be good to go to the airport together. We packed everything ready to leave right after the wedding to the airport.

The wedding was at the farmhouse, or so they said. After an hour drive later through dark streets with an armed guard we arrived at a mansion. Everything took a while to get there with traffic and then the state of the backroads. Because I was so unprepared I painted my nails on the ride over. It was a feat I did the job I did. The mansion is called a farmhouse because it sits on a farm. Definitely time to change that name. The entire outside area had been decorated with lights and floral arrangements and a central focused stage for dancing with an elaborate overhanging structure.

The buffet this time was more substantial with a live station of various breads. We ate, had more photoshoots, and prepared for the ceremony. There were various things the couple did under the watchful eye of his family. They passed rice above to below and shared a drink. Then came some fun. For good luck, the guests are invited to knock the couple’s heads together. The parents place their hands on their foreheads to protect them. After these rituals, the band started. We were all given large stacks of 1 rupee to throw onto the stage as tips. These are basically equal to a penny so you the idea is to throw a lot. The night ended with us all dancing and throwing the money. Women don’t normally partake but Murtaza’s father invited us all to dance together.

We took the car back, showered, stripped our hair of 1 million bobby pins, changed, and went to the airport. These 3 or 5 days depending on how you look at them, were more packed than I could imagine. I hugged Austeja goodbye at the gate and made my way to mine. I had 6 days in Turkey and nothing organized besides the 1 night in the hotel.